Joe, Leslie, Gabriel and Becky Yang Hsu (Georgetown University) discuss the humorous differences in perspectives that emerge when contemplating a woman’s distressed letter on Reddit about how her husband ruined her wine party:
3202 2018-02-27 15:52:09
So I realize this may sound silly and I’m sorry in advance if it does, I promise I’m not snooty or holier than thou in my day to day life. It’s just that I’ve always wanted to host a “sophisticated” party with great wine and food and decent conversation. I’m not opposed to bar nights and keg parties, it’s just that I wanted to do something different on this particular night (last Saturday).
I had literally been planning this party for over a month, I ordered special cheeses directly from Europe, I sent out “taste questionnaires” to all my guests to best accommodate their wine and food preferences. I cleaned for days, I even replaced our ratty old couch with a new sectional from Crate and Barrel and matched some really cool thrift store hauls to make it sort of “warehouse chic.” I hand made all the invitations and event matched the stamps to better fit the motif of the design.
Saturday night came around and everyone was having a great time, people were dressed to the nines and I was on cloud nine with what a great time everyone was having. We had intelligent and polite conversation and everyone was getting along great. I had at max 20 total guests (some left early and some arrived late).
After maybe 2 hours I noticed my husband was not present, no big deal I thought since he said he’d wanted to smoke some good cigars so I figured that’s where he was. Maybe 10 minutes later I hear him and his best friend bust through the front door saying really loud “Now we got a party folks!!!” as he and his friends were carrying huge boxes of Budweiser.
Well slowly but surely my sophisticated wine party turned into a beer bust, the guys took their ties and coats off, the girls got more loose and after an hour of beer drinking my new couches were pushed to the wall and everyone was dancing and grinding and my nice calm background music was changed to hip hop.
I basically went in my room and cried. I didn’t tell anyone so no one checked on me, not my friends, not my husband, no one. They were all having “too good” of a time. To make it worse, the next day nearly everyone sent me texts or emails saying what a great time they had and they didn’t expect to “party until 3am.” So not only did it not go my way, no even appreciates “my part” of the party.
I’m crushed. By my husband mostly since he knew how important this was to me, but also by my friends who so quickly went along with my husband and didn’t even seem to miss me at the party.
What do I do here? I feel betrayed by just about everyone.
Barry Eidin is an Assistant Professor of Sociology at McGill University. He recently published Labor and the Class Idea in the United States and Canada with Cambridge University Press. Twitter: @eidlin
Joseph Nathan Cohen co-hosts The Annex and directs the Sociocast Project. He is an Associate Professor of Sociology at the City University of New York, Queens College. He wrote Financial Crisis in American Households: The Basic Expenses That Bankrupt the Middle Class (2017, Praeger) and co-authored Global Capitalism: A Sociological Perspective (2010, Polity). Twitter: @jncohen
Leslie Hinkson co-hosts The Annex. She is an Assistant Professor of Sociology at Georgetown University. Her recent book is Subprime Health: Debt and Race in U.S. Medicine (2017 University of Minnesota Press).
Gabriel Rossman co-hosts The Annex. He is an Associate Professor of Sociology at the University of California, Los Angeles. He wrote Climbing the Charts: What Radio Airplay Tells Us about the Diffusion of Innovation (2015, Princeton) Twitter: @GabrielRossman